I feel terrible right now. My shared flashmob video led me to watch more of them. Some of them were flash mobs for marriage proposals. All of that was wonderful. It moved me to tears and destroyed me inside. The last few weeks and months… there was very little on my mind besides this house, Corona, and how I was going to get it all done. Where has the love gone? I was a terrible partner and must urgently change that again. I wasn’t sure if I should write this down now, but my feelings are overwhelming me right now. I feel terrible. I feel bad.